I leave tomorrow. Today, I pack. Today, I check the weather one last time, take the umbrella out of the pile and put it back again. Today, I second-guess my socks, my shoes, everything. Today, I miss having a kitty to shoo out of the luggage.
As my close friends know, I've been struggling with a minor (well, in the scheme of things, doesn't always feel minor) health problem for a few months now. Dealing with it daily while fighting my HMO has definitely distracted me, and clouded my anticipation of this trip with worry instead of enthusiasm. Getting a nasty cold over the weekend didn't help.
But, I know, I really do, that my memories of the next few weeks will be of the best things. Just like when I look back on this summer and remember parties and camping with friends, laughing and love with JW, and a dozen beautiful moments, and I can't remember at all how I was feeling right then, whether the problem was better or worse that day. I only remember the joy.
To remind myself of that I'm taking along my One Good Thing bracelet, a memorial to Hudson, my friends' child who passed away in May but who taught us all to see the one good thing, to "to enjoy and cherish what is rather than worry about what should or shouldn’t be."